This is another prompt that I've been debating what direction to take this.
And while I got this prompt pretty late in the game, the decision came pretty quickly once I thought about it.
I am a bigger girl. Last time I weighed myself, I weighed 173.6 lbs. I'm 5' 2.5". I wear an 18-20 in jeans and an 1X/XL in stretch/elastic waist pants. I'm 'short and stocky.'
However, I don't let my weight bother me... for the most part. I come from a family where HONESTLY, my sister Margaret, my cousin Adrienne and I are the thinnest in the family. I accept myself as a BBW.
And most people accept me as I am. I get more looks from society for the way I walk than my weight. My friends accept me at my current weight. I don't feel judged...
Except by one person; Mama Melissa's father.
He is of the 'Thin is In' theory. He constantly runs me down for my weight, along with my disability. I'm called a 'fat*ss' and a 'ret*rd' on a daily basis. No matter how much I (or Mama Melissa) explain to him that Yes, I have brain damage, but the damage is on the PHYSICAL lobes of my brain; it has NOTHING to do with my intelligence or mental clarity, he still refers to me as a 'cripple' and/or a 'ret*rd.'
And it used to bother me for a long time.
But then, I started thinking... Why am I letting him get to me? Why do I really care what he thinks of me? He has no say over me. I'm not related to him by blood, and he takes every opportunity to remind me that Mama Melissa is NOT my mom... which he technically is right on that.
However, Mama Melissa CANNOT have children; I am the closest she has to a child. To her, she IS my mom.
But that doesn't change the fact that I was letting someone that has no real say over me control me.
And that's when I started taking a page from Elsa's book and began to let it go. Stop worrying about what others think of me and concentrate on my happiness.
Please hop along and read all of the blog posts in this weeks hop. Just click the links below. If you want real and raw emotion, then you will find it here. After you read each post, please comment and share. We want to get to know you too!